An Independent Woman

I have wanted to write about my single status for quite some time now. As I share such personal stories with you on my blog it seems fitting I talk about my lack of relationships.

My Mum has warned against this post as she believes I'm going to come across as "desperate". I told her I was. Being 20 and having no relationship experience means the standards have dropped. Lately my favourite saying is that men only need shoes and teeth. Sad I know, but I do live in Beerwah!

In all seriousness I am quite content with it just being me. For as long as I can remember I have always been an independent person and really don't want that to change. I like not having to consider anyone else when I make decisions and love putting my career first every single time. I love that I've been able to learn about myself without anyone clouding my judgement. I have had to do things all on my own and that has taught me who I am.

When I was in Grade Three I was put in a different class to my best friend. Looking back this was probably where my independence began. Up until that point my best friend and I had been together since Day Care (an alternative to Kindergarten). I wasn't sure how eight year old Ash was going to cope. Strangely in that year I was also a little bullied. I can remember running to my best friend in the play ground and asking her what she was going to do about the bully. She told me I had to do deal with it on my own. In that moment I realised I was the only one I could count on.

As I have gotten older I've seen most of my friends fall in love and made friends who have partners. The hardest part about being friends with these people is not being able to relate. I love understanding but I really can't imagine how they live their lives together. I feel so removed from that whole experience and often feel very awkward when they talk about things I haven't gone through.

My whole problem with this relationship BS is society's problem with me being single. Every family barbecue, every distant relative gathering, every family friend's phone call I am asked if I have a BOYFRIEND. The answer is no, I don't. But that does not mean you have the right to joke about my sexual orientation. Just so we're clear I'm straight but the men in my life currently fit into three categories, none of which are relevant to being in a relationship with yours truly.

Firstly, we have the typical promiscuous type. They will forever be chasing the hot chicks in the club and wondering why they're still single at 35. However, that won't be looked down upon and no one will ask them if they're gay.

The second category is probably my favourite. The men that have girlfriends but still want someone else on the side. They don't believe they're doing anything wrong but won't actually communicate in public. They typically love Snapchat.

Lastly, we have the men that are actually committed to their girlfriends. You know the ones that are nice to women but respectfully have a relationship. Yeah, well they are the ultimate heartthrobs.

I would also like to mention my lack of relationship probably has something to do with my degree. I'm going to let you in on a little secret and advise all single women hoping to find a man at Uni not to study journalism. Let me tell you the female to male ratio isn't too great.

To all of my single girls out there, please tell me at least some this resonates with you, if not I am once again back to being super independent and maybe a little alone. But, I do want to clarify that for right now I'm happy being by myself and away from the drama that is the male species.

#ashleighdwan #beyondthestory #journalism