Christmas

As a kid Christmas was always my favourite time of year. I think that's just how it is when you believe in Santa and the magic of what he represents. Don't get me wrong I was terrified of the big man and his red suit, but I still loved the excitement of leaving him a couple of shortbread and waking up to a stocking full of presents.

I am saddened I know longer believe, Christmas doesn't feel as special and there is no higher power making the gifts. It's now the stress of what to buy and the travel time to get to and from the Christmas lunch before I have to be back at work.

It must have been around the time I started working that bruised my perfect idea of Christmas. I think just growing up does that too.

For the first time we haven't put up our Christmas tree and our presents are stacked in bags awaiting their trip to the Gold Coast for our lunch at the Minifie's. We haven't put up any wreaths, there are no fairy lights lining our roof and I still haven't written in my Christmas cards. It's all work and no play this year which is really quite depressing.

I want to skip past this awkward stage of stressing about the technicalities of Christmas and go back to the moments of pure disbelief when Santa got me everything that was on my wish list. I want to go back to being an overexcited 5-year-old that woke up at 5am and begged Mum and Dad to start opening the presents. I want to be excited to leave a carrot for Rudolf, have fun with my new Bratz doll and enjoy every small moment that once made Christmas so very special.

Growing up really does suck.

#ashleighdwan #beyondthestory #journalism #christmas